Tragedy. On Christmas.

I'm using this to sort out my feelings with this awful Christmas news my parents delivered to me. On Christmas Eve, my mom told all of us that on Christmas, there was to be no technology, only family time. When I woke up (really late, around 1pm), my mom and dad both had their laptops and phones out. I told them to put it away and reminded them it was Christmas. After my mom had taken a shower, she said she had something terrible to tell us, and that she wanted us to open presents first so that we could still have some sort of Christmas.

My first thought was that my mom had lost her job, and that I wouldn't be able to go to school anymore, but it seemed more serious than that. Maybe someone had died in the family or developed an aggressive cancer. Somehow the news was far worse than anything I could imagine. My mother told my sister and I that my nephew is missing and that my half sister and her boyfriend are in jail.

A homicide detective told them over the phone that some new evidence they'd found overnight caused them to believe it was homicide. However, the man said he would keep us updated, although we probably won't hear anything until Monday.

First I cried. Then I sobbed. I knew she was self-centered, but... No. If they don't find that little peanut, I don't think I could ever forgive either of them. From the time my nephew was born, his mother tried to use him to get gifts from our mother, picking out expensive strollers and cribs and hinting to our mother that they wanted it. After a visit my mother paid them for my nephew's birthday, she told us what she saw, because it made no sense.

Messes everywhere, foul smells, and in the freezing East Coast weather my nephew was without a jacket. It was "lost" according to my half sister. It all seems worse, now that he's missing. My half sister is in jail, charged with misdemeanor child neglect, which she should be. Her boyfriend is in jail under suspicion of murder.

I just keep thinking, why? Why would anyone treat such a sweet little boy that way? How could you look at his sweet little face and not give him anything and everything? That little ball of energy only gave love and wanted only to receive it in return. Well, that and batman pajamas.

The hardest part was when I googled it. I typed in my nephew's name and the state they live in, stories came about left and right. My little peanut's name all over the news. "Missing" and then "murder". My half sister and her boyfriend's mugshots side by side. He looks crazy and evil as ever, but her face pissed me off. She looks unapologetic. She looks as though she were in an argument with someone and she was defending her terrible actions. That person I'd grown up with was making THAT FACE when they took her picture. She was looking as though she'd done nothing wrong. And that I couldn't stand. That made me sick.

I'm still hoping they find that little angel. Wherever he may be, I hope he's alive and well.

This is the story: http://www.wral.com/missing-2-year-old-raleigh-boy-s-father-charged-with-murder/14306867/ I can't believe it still. I hope it's not true. And right now hope is all I can do until they find him.