Why I'm black and yellow

How "us people" interact with other people

I'll try to keep this short so you'll actually read it and hopefully won't become offended

From what I have seen, people behave differently around well-behaved black people. I don't just mean other races, I mean other blacks also. I myself have noticed the difference: when I'm wearing hoop earrings, my nose piercing, my hair down, people are too afraid to look in my direction because I'm black and I may shoot them. When my hair is away from my face and I'm wearing professional clothes, people socialize with me more. I find it to be quite the opposite with black people.

First of all, I'm light-skinned. Ask any ghetto black person and they'll say "you're not black, you're yellow" which, of course makes no sense. When I'm "yellow" with hoop earrings and skinny jeans, wedges, black people find me more appealing. However, when I'm wearing my sneakers, jeans and a regular shirt (and speak proper English, which most people are allergic to) I'm "trying to be white" or I MUST be mixed, but I can't be black, oh no. Because I keep my body covered and speak proper English, automatically I can't be more than 50% black. Makes total sense...

Basically I'm a misfit. There is no one I have met that does things the way I do with the morals I value and the speech that I use quite often. In a world of black and white, I'm the only shade of gray I've ever seen. ("So, Axanti, who are your real friends if you're a misfit?") Great question. I've found other misfits and of course bonded with them, but I kinda want that best friend next door type person that knows me through and through. At least, I did until I realized I have that person already. He's nowhere near next door but he's he best best friend I could ask for. He also just happens to be my boyfriend... I mean.... I GUESS I can live with that...