Great things are happening this week!

That was sarcasm. In addition to Patrick basically saying we don't have a future together, Darrin sent me text messages this morning saying we can't be best friends anymore. You remember Darrin. We dated for two years and then broke up and became friends? He's in a lot of my early posts.

He said talking to me is getting in the way of his relationship with Bree, and so "at least for now" we can't be friends. I'm understandably feeling quite shitty right now and haven't let myself cry yet, even though. I really want to between yesterday's and today's news.

Part of me doesn't want to be emotional about this. Part of me wants to say fuck them and move on with my life. That might be exactly what I try to do.

Once in high school, I broke up with my boyfriend and lost my best friends at the time. It feels just like that. I always seem to choose people that don't stick around, I wonder why. I have a lot to do today, so I think I'll have a good cry tonight, and tomorrow get all my shit done for the weekend.

I'm not gonna just be sad all weekend. If I finish all my homework by Sunday, I might take a trip somewhere, maybe Monterey. Maybe the aquarium! I haven't been yet.

I don't want this to get in the way of... Well anything really. Friends don't stay put, I should learn to accept that. And lovers/boyfriends/weird hybrids are even flakier.

I have other things on my mind. Like the orange Amineko I'm making and the wood circle and canvases I got from Dio, my Mixed Media professor. I should get these feelings onto a canvas.

I'm gonna try.