Friday, September 21, 2012

weird. like pickles and cheese on a pb&j.

Ignore the picture, it's 11:24pm and soo many thoughts are running through my head. I typed in weird food and picked what didn't make me itch. let's start with me going to bonfare to buy sunflower seeds and my favorite guy being there. Thai, my buddy. He's been working there ever since we moved to California. today when I walked up and said my awkward

"What's uuuuuup?" He replied with

"Hey, beautiful." Deja vu. I tried to change the subject reeeeally fast and said:

"You're looking beautiful today yourself!" Awkward.

"Handsome," he corrected me.

"Handsome, sorry," I said with a nervous laugh.

Why do I get so awkward when people compliment me?

My sister and I left and said nothing about him calling me beautiful, or ignoring her altogether.

One thing that BOGGLES THE SHIT OUT OF MY MIND is that I looked like crap today. I did it on purpose as a strategy to help me do better on my driving test (yay), and just didn't feel like getting pretty. I'm talking white heads all over my face, dreads still fuzzy cuz I haven't twisted them in like... a while. I don't even know how long it's been. Regular t-shirt, not low-cut, and shorts that just graze my knees. With flip flops. And ashy feet. Like. Part of me is wondering what people see when they look at me. The other part is hoping that he was just flirting to try to get me to buy stuff. I like that idea. I get weird when I find out people are interested in me. Ugh it's 11:33. I really need to sleep. I don't even remember why I started typing this. Oh, because this is the second time this year that someone has said to me, out of the blue (that isn't my boyfriend) "Hey, beautiful." I expected to hear that only once per decade. Must be Year of the Dragon mojo! Hope this mojo sticks around December 14th to the 21st, because I could use it! Goin back to Philly, Philly, Philly. Yeah that was lame. I'm gonna sleep now I think.

3 comments:

  1. Darlin', you are beautiful! And not just physically, but personality-wise as well! I don't know if you can feel it, but you emit this kinda aura? (not to go all hippie on ya LOL) but your presence isn't stifling, it's warm and welcoming. Whenever you're in the room or within a certain proximity of myself, I feel safe. As if I could plop on your lap, Santa-Claus-style, and tell you my life story and you'd listen. I don't know HOW you do this, you splendid gorgeous angel! But you do and I think that's part of the reason why people see you as beautiful! You look beautiful, you act beautiful, you feel beautiful (not in the creepy way! HAHA) hence, you ARE beautiful. Something Roald Dahl said (I'm paraphrasing here)
    "if one thinks beautiful thoughts they'll shine outwards and therefore the thinker is beautiful" (: I HOPE THAT WASNT LONG AND BORING

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  2. http://kushandwizdom.tumblr.com/post/32083525939

    ^ HERE IT IS

    Lol i think
    sorta not exactly what i wanted to say but close ;D
    CAUSE YOU DONT HAVE A WONKY NOSE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! you're one of the few precious people with a beautiful face and a beautiful soul <3

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