So this guy won't stop talking to me.

I don't know if it matters what he looks like, but I'll describe him anyway. He's a medium-height Asian guy with reeeally bad teeth. You know how in cartoons, the character tries to bite down on something and breaks all their teeth in half? Yeah. That shouldn't matter, but it makes it difficult to focus on his eyes when he talks. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so pessimistic/racist about life, I might enjoy talking to him. But I don't. The first time I talked to him, he was really racist towards Mexican specifically. He was saying how Mexicans are drunks, loud and annoying; and I told him how that's not specific to any race, it's basically every teenager alive today. He admitted it, even. Then a guy walked by with a septum piercing and cruella devil-dyed hair. He said how scary it looks and how people should have "normal" piercings. That upset me a little. I didn't say that, I said that I like when people get piercings, they're unique; and not everyone wants to be "normal". He said "yeah, that's true..." And then sat there quietly. I really need to sit in a different spot. It's hard trying to state my opinion without screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" every time. It shouldn't be, but sometimes it is.

weird. like pickles and cheese on a pb&j.

Ignore the picture, it's 11:24pm and soo many thoughts are running through my head. I typed in weird food and picked what didn't make me itch. let's start with me going to bonfare to buy sunflower seeds and my favorite guy being there. Thai, my buddy. He's been working there ever since we moved to California. today when I walked up and said my awkward

"What's uuuuuup?" He replied with

"Hey, beautiful." Deja vu. I tried to change the subject reeeeally fast and said:

"You're looking beautiful today yourself!" Awkward.

"Handsome," he corrected me.

"Handsome, sorry," I said with a nervous laugh.

Why do I get so awkward when people compliment me?

My sister and I left and said nothing about him calling me beautiful, or ignoring her altogether.

One thing that BOGGLES THE SHIT OUT OF MY MIND is that I looked like crap today. I did it on purpose as a strategy to help me do better on my driving test (yay), and just didn't feel like getting pretty. I'm talking white heads all over my face, dreads still fuzzy cuz I haven't twisted them in like... a while. I don't even know how long it's been. Regular t-shirt, not low-cut, and shorts that just graze my knees. With flip flops. And ashy feet. Like. Part of me is wondering what people see when they look at me. The other part is hoping that he was just flirting to try to get me to buy stuff. I like that idea. I get weird when I find out people are interested in me. Ugh it's 11:33. I really need to sleep. I don't even remember why I started typing this. Oh, because this is the second time this year that someone has said to me, out of the blue (that isn't my boyfriend) "Hey, beautiful." I expected to hear that only once per decade. Must be Year of the Dragon mojo! Hope this mojo sticks around December 14th to the 21st, because I could use it! Goin back to Philly, Philly, Philly. Yeah that was lame. I'm gonna sleep now I think.

What I look like right now, if you care

I can't be normal. It's just.. unnatural.