First, I found out that I have housing for fall 2014 when I'll be attending CSUMB! Second, I added my roommates, they seem pretty nice and know each other already. Third, I'm frickin graduating this month and I have an awesome summer job with Camp Galileo where I'll be working with kindergarten-age kids! Not only that, I'll be making good money, so I can pay back the $900 I owe my mom and start saving for college! (No tattoos this summer, unfortunately. Even though I have a half sleeve planned out.)
Things are looking great. Darrin is living with his new girlfriend Bree and his mom in an apartment and they're getting along well. My grandfather still has cancer, but supposedly he's not doing too badly. My grandma found out she has cataracts and is going to get them removed quite soon. My older sister is finally thinking of moving out of North Carolina to a more open-minded area. My younger sister has a job at Chipotle that she very much likes, and my mom is being awesome as usual, hard at work and preparing to launch back into her PhD program. Patrick is (hopefully) packing things up and getting ready to go back home with his family in SoCal, and my friend Easten is healing nicely and out of the hospital, although he looks like a raw sausage.
I actually had a dream about him. He was at a table drawing with me? Or something. Oh, and I was just thinking how I should've offered to rub lotion on his skin. Just to give him a break and help him feel relaxed. Also because touch helps the healing process so much, especially when someone does it out of the kindness of their heart and not out of obligation, and I want to do that for him to help him heal faster. For some reason I feel such a deep connection with him.
Maybe it's because we're the same age, and when I met him the first thing I noticed is that he looks me directly in the eyes when I talk and doesn't look away; giving me his undivided attention. (Also, he was in the hospital, so naturally I want to baby him and feed him soup. I guess womanly instincts strike at a moment's notice.) Or perhaps studying my face and peering into my soul. Or a combination of the two. His eyes are very intense. And when I heard him outside one day, smoking weed, playing guitar, and singing with the most beautiful voice, I felt so much closer to him. He's a videographer and he plays guitar AND he sings. He does a lot of what I want to do in my life, and he does it well. I see him as a role model of sorts. A close friend, too.
Anyways, lots of good things are happening. I find myself wanting change, although I know it will be difficult. I've gotten used to De Anza, to the friends I met there, to the campus, the people, the routine. I think I've set up a good road map for my life. Two years at CSUMB until I graduate with a Bachelor's in Visual and Public Art. Then Peace Corps for (hopefully) two years, time that I hope to document through my art.
After that, getting involved with organizations that provide change on Native American reservations (and bring education and mental health services specifically) and others that help the homeless. After that, when I'm 25ish I would probably do well to look for a career-type job if I'm not "making it" as an artist. Then Master's degree somewhere, kids, build on my property in Colorado and work through my bucket list while I live out the rest of my life creating art, music, bellydancing and crocheting.
Planning one's life out may seem foolish, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as having certain things I wish to do. And if they can happen at certain times, great. If not, I can adapt. Change is always good for me, a clean slate and a new beginning help me feel secure.
I'm awarding myself 600 awesome points for staying up so late. It is 3:02am and I'm still awake. ME. Mrs. Morning person. Oh, I guess I should get to sleep. Since finals are in two weeks.
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