I can't wait for Patrick to go home!

But I don't want him to go.

Strange that someone I'd just met could have just a lasting impression on me, but that's exactly what's happened.

I've been trying to keep a lot inside. There is so much I keep from him, because my brain just blurts things out. I feel like once he's gone, my brain will stop saying things.

I don't want him to go, but I really want him to. He's the best everything and compliments me so well. We have fun together and we also talk about everything under and over the sun.

We're good company for one another and have a great time in a group as well as by ourselves.

I'm still going to wait until Patrick's in Long Beach to openly blog about every thought running through my head. They're irrelevant and will do no one any good right now.

Still though, I find myself wondering what it'll be like once he's gone. No one else understands the sexy chicken thing we do. No one dances that awful, amazing, dorky, cute dance that he does whenever good music plays.

No one looks at me the way he does. Adoration in his eyes and a smile on his face. No one reads me like he does. He doesn't mind being protective of me or showing other people how he feels about me.

He laughs at my silliness and walks with his arm around me. Sometimes, he randomly strokes my leg and then squeezes it before letting go. 

We don't text often, but when we do he always has something sweet to say to me and always wants to know how my day is going.

I want him to be the standard for my future relationships, but at the same time I realize that's unfair because no one can live up to that standard. He's one of a kind. Compassionate, silly, honest, adventurous, spiritual, mature and just so patient.

I'm glad I met him. I didn't know people could be so fantastic. No matter what happens in the next two weeks to five years, I have memories abd experiences I can cherish, some through this blog.

I feel like in Patrick I've found my other half, and just knowing he exists makes me happy enough to want to carry on alone with confidence (although I hope that we remain at least friends for the rest of our lives). Patrick is the most fun person I've ever met besides myself and my sister. He's gonna have to keep me company now; us weirdos have to stick together

I'm getting sleepy now and am starting to talk in circles. Cues for bedtime!