Sunday, May 18, 2014

My dream last night

Jhonny kidnapped me, my older brother, younger brother and younger sister. He seemed really into Ancient Egyptian culture gods, so much so that he was going to let me starve until he could safrifice me. He would open a wall and go into a sandy desert, then return later.

He played board games with my siblings while I was kept in a separate room away from human contact, away from food. He wanted them on his side, to forget about me.

Towards the end of the dream he decided to rape me. He smeared something blue on his lips and began walking towards me, but something distracted him so he left. My siblings were still in there, but I couldn't stay. No matter what, I knew I wouldn't be the same for them if he violated me.

I escaped from the house but forgot my phone. I crawled back into the window I'd escaped from, grabbed my phone and re-exited the window. I ran for my life, unable to dial 9-1-1 because I kept hitting the wrong numbers. My hands must have been shaking.

 Eventually I dialed it, though, told the person what happened and asked her to send officers to save my siblings. I ran into a neighbor's house (that became a police station?) and before I finally entered, I thought I saw Jhonny in a bright yellow shirt (even in the darkness of the night). He was scanning the scene for me. 

While I was dreaming, the thought survivor's guilt was constant in my mind, as if I wasn't thinking it, but saying it to myself.

And then I woke up.

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