Am I less of a woman?

If my legs are hairy
My eyebrows are not arched
My face is free of makeup
My body is unexposed
My pants are made for boys
My nails are short
I wear sneakers instead of heels



Why does that make me less?

Move towards natural hair! (all races)

Do I need to explain further? Don't buy extensions, weaves, perms! Your hair is beautiful just the way it is! you don't need to change it! So what if your hair is short! Keep it moisturized and it will grow. I just want everyone to stop trying to be a tall, skinny, straight-haired model type person. Natural hair is BEAUTIFUL! It took far too long but we're finally starting a movement! LOVE your natural hair!

Oprah

Not dreads, hair twists.

who needs a straightener?

promotional barbies :)

Pfft, who wants "perfection"?

Natural hair is about getting to know part of your body. Sure, it's easy to pay someone to braid your hair up and slap a wig on top, but it far more rewarding to get compliments when you styled your hair with no chemicals. Natural hair movement!! (bro fist)

Why I'm black and yellow

How "us people" interact with other people

I'll try to keep this short so you'll actually read it and hopefully won't become offended

From what I have seen, people behave differently around well-behaved black people. I don't just mean other races, I mean other blacks also. I myself have noticed the difference: when I'm wearing hoop earrings, my nose piercing, my hair down, people are too afraid to look in my direction because I'm black and I may shoot them. When my hair is away from my face and I'm wearing professional clothes, people socialize with me more. I find it to be quite the opposite with black people.

First of all, I'm light-skinned. Ask any ghetto black person and they'll say "you're not black, you're yellow" which, of course makes no sense. When I'm "yellow" with hoop earrings and skinny jeans, wedges, black people find me more appealing. However, when I'm wearing my sneakers, jeans and a regular shirt (and speak proper English, which most people are allergic to) I'm "trying to be white" or I MUST be mixed, but I can't be black, oh no. Because I keep my body covered and speak proper English, automatically I can't be more than 50% black. Makes total sense...

Basically I'm a misfit. There is no one I have met that does things the way I do with the morals I value and the speech that I use quite often. In a world of black and white, I'm the only shade of gray I've ever seen. ("So, Axanti, who are your real friends if you're a misfit?") Great question. I've found other misfits and of course bonded with them, but I kinda want that best friend next door type person that knows me through and through. At least, I did until I realized I have that person already. He's nowhere near next door but he's he best best friend I could ask for. He also just happens to be my boyfriend... I mean.... I GUESS I can live with that...

Guns/NRA/recent massacre in Colorado

First of all. Gun collectors. If you don't hunt, you don't use the guns why have them? They are COMPLETELY irrelevant to every day life.

The NRA can say whatever they would like to try and convince the public and the government that they should keep their guns "for protection". Protection from WHAT exactly? How is it possible that someone who has no use for a gun and no reason to own a gun can go online and purchase an AR-15-type weapon with no questions asked? POLICEMEN don't even carry those types of firearms!!

Average citizens should NOT be allowed to carry weapons more destructive and can fire more rounds than guns that policemen carry. It only makes sense. ON WHAT PLANET DOES IT MAKE SENSE for a random person in Colorado to purchase a rifle that policemen, who protect us cannot possess?

I am upset. Our right to bear arms was put in place (I am interpreting) in case the new United States of America needed to overthrow the government. In a day and age when WE are the most desirable country with the most desirable form of government, what do we need guns for? The answer is: we don't.

There is no reason that mothers and fathers should lose their children while they are going to a movie theatre. A movie theatre. There is no excuse, no reasoning behind it whatsoever.

How many wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, children must we lose?

first picture with stained lips

no room for nice girls in society

Everyone is funneling into the American culture which consists of Nicki Minaj, tight clothes, calling everyone "nigga" and having "swag".

All of the girls I meet that believe they're cool and in with the popular crowd always want 'haters' and want to be gangsters, walk with a limp and spit on the ground, wear blue and red.

Why is there no room for nice girls? Why aren't nice, sweet girls desirable anymore? Nicki Minaj says a lot of violent things including killing other people and carrying guns. While this may be an attractive fantasy, I don't find it at all healthy or realistic. If everyone practiced what people like her preached, crime would go up (in my opinion).

Maybe people should consider their true desires before basing their image of the ideal woman off of someone who's trying to make money.

So from now on I need to practice HTML format.

HTML format is what I'm using. Pretty frickin awesome. I wanna get some extra smarts, cuz I like knowing stuff.

I

am

learning

awesome

stuff

Like that :P

Why I don't go on facebook: TMI

I don't like when my little cousins grow up.

Know why? FACEBOOK.

Because people grow up. When people grow up, they start kissing and developing and junk. I hate seeing pictures of my 12-year old cousins biting their lips and kissing their boyfriends/girlfriends. It makes me cringe. TMI, especially for facebook. One picture is fine, I suppose, for a profile picture. But not 17 and 20 pictures of you two in bed together and on top of each other. TMI. Parents: Where's the regulation?! Where's the "facebook appropriate" conversation?

My poor boyfriend :/

I must drive him crazy, with the crying, the drama. And when I'm sad, he feels terrible because he thinks it's his fault when 99.9% of the time it's just me working myself up and/or stressing until I can't stop crying. To make things worse, I always assume the worst when I'm upset or he is. Thank Athena he loves me, otherwise he'd be fed up with me by now. I wish I could find a way to thank him. And I have! If this blog wasn't public, I'd tell you all about my detective work to get him the perfect birthday present. However, he knows I blog and is probably reading this seconds before/after you are. BUT, I have something awesome planned. (He's so cute sometimes:) I wanted him to be excited, so I told him that I have a really awesome surprise for his birthday. I hope he'll love it! Honestly, his birthday is too far away. 120 days (3 months and 27 days) away. I can't wait! I'm going to try to add to the surprise. Like Limitless, I'll have to use every bit of info I've learned over the past five months.

Speaking of five months, our five month anniversary is a week from today! August 24th marks our 6mo mark :) I want to do something special, but what can I do from over here, you ask? BRAIN POWER-ACTIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Happy 6mo anniversary, a month early :)

"Checking out" people

First of all, what does that mean? "Oh, I was just checking him out." So does that mean to return him in 25 days with no damages?

Second of all, it's irritating when people ask me if I check out guys. No, I do not "check them out". Not because I'm snooty, not even because I'm taken. When I have been single, I have not "checked people out". Think about what "checking out" really is. It's looking at someone to the point where it's creepy until hopefully they smile back or "ask you out". What kind of method is this for choosing someone to start an intimate relationship with?

Third, the problem with "checking out" is that checking out only goes off of looks (which, if I'm not mistaken, can be deceiving. Remember how everyone thought the planets [and sun] revolved around the Earth?). Looks and only looks. That means if your soul mate is staking right in front of you in sweats and a baggy t-shirt because he/she is having a bad day, you pass them up because they're not worth "checking out". It's a dumb idea, if you ask me. (Let's just pretend you did.)

That is why I don't "check people out". I get to know people. Because people are more than faces, clothes, hats, shoes and jewelry. People have an inner core that you have to dig deep to find. A sort of hidden gem that is not visible from the outside.

I like

Considerate/conversational people
Black olives
Babies
Onions
Garlic
Food in general
People who decide for themselves
When oak trees/any trees make shade down a street
Astronomy
Astrology
Tattoos
LGBT people/supporters
Watching the fluffy clouds
People who break stereotypes
Individualists
Artists
Musicians
Linguists
Apple and all Apple products
Blondes who dye their hair black
Crazy people who bleach their hair
Parisols
Those clear umbrellas that swoop down around your shoulders
Puppies
Kittens
When men put their dreadlocks back in a ponytail
Throwback bell bottoms!
Old people
Vintage anything
History
Thrift stores❤
Acting crazy inside a huge store
When people blast their music
When people walk around playing the guitar
When people start conversations with me
"testing out" mattresses
That wasn't sexual. I mean actually going to mattress stores and allaying on each one
Exotic foods
Playing the "punch buggy" game

I don't like

Seeing my face over and over (as I presently am)
Hearing my own voice for too long
Hearing ghetto black people talk. Ever.
Everyone turning to look at me once slavery is mentioned
When people say a whole ghetto sentence but make one word sound proper
Stepping on snails
Chocolate
People's crazy parents
Learning a new bus route. (What if I get lost?)
Technology. Actually, that should be #1
Hypocrites
That I'm a hypocrite
Litterers
Immaturity
The idea that somewhere out it no-one-can-see-me land, some old man is controlling my life and making me either obey him absolutely or be punished for not doing so.
Organized religion (as if you couldn't tell)
Traditional, old-fashioned baptist Christians
Rude people
Mushrooms
People who make me feel bad about being short and skinny
Being skinny
How much I LOVE junk food. I take that back, I love all food.
Males who turn into females when they buy/wear shoes
Prejudice
People who CANNOT be polite
Summer heat
That stupid cold in the morning, 99° at noon weather
Engravings in trees. They can't heal from that.
Americanization
America's endless demand for more
People who complain about things they can fix
SMOKING. That should be number 0.1
People who aren't true to themselves
" about themselves
People who drive fast
The grocery store. Why torture myself with food I can't eat?
Salesmen

De Anza

My car's engine. Idk what any of this stuff is except where to put the oil and the fluid for the windshield wipers.

Scheduling, I guess.

I really like taking summer classes at De Anza. I wish I'd've done this freshman year! Two classes a day, free eco pass so I don't have to pay for public transportation, plus it's overall a really nice experience. And, after working 12pm-8 and then 1pm-9 it feels great to be able to wake up early and go to bed early. Like eight o' clock early. Awesome, since I wake up at six. All thanks be to Athena and Zeus that my dad drops me off at De Anza every morning. To get to my 7:30am class on time, I'd have to be on the bus at 5:33am. That's... that's not happenin'. So I'm blogging in the De Anza computer lab. Which, by the way, is amazing. I posted on facebook how much it sucked, because I found one old mac by some books and thought that was the "library internet lab". Funny thing, it wasn't. I saw someone walk into here, and followed them. It's pretty amazing.

They didn't get the waterfall in the picture :/ oh well. My boyfriend told me to be careful today (I brought the iPad with me), he said some people grab and run. Hmm, grab and run. I hope you can run faster than me, because any less than a 9 second head start and I'm passed your heels. (New topic) There are free books in the library. Unfortunately, they're all old and some are those women's erotic books... yeah.. the ones with the man and the woman all cozied up on the cover.. yeah... it was more awkward to see than it is to type...

Yeah. I just.. ugh. At least they have clothes on and aren't naked under sheets like most book covers. Well, I am having a pretty good time! De Anza is great. My family is great. My very good friend Keana and I text a lot and check in on each other.. My sister and nephew are flying here for Christmas. I have six weeks in between summer and fall classes. As you might have read previously, I am currently employed at California's Great America (so that six weeks will be six weeks of work). And I have to mention him last so he's hopefully what you remember, my amazing and supportive boyfriend. (I won't post another picture because he hates when I do that.) Tchao!

Food Service at Great America

Food Service at Great America is pretty freaking awesome. Especially for my first job ever, pretty amazing. My first day wasn't so great. Before I got to work that day, my sister said "Ask them to not put you on register." I kept that in mind. When I came in, another girl was starting her first day also. We were assigned a supervisor to help train us on all the machines. First was ice cream. When we walked in, people kept saying my supervisor didn't know anything. I was thinking "uhhh, okay.." He showed us how to make burgers, the ice cream machine, the garlic fries, etc. All day I worked register. Exactly what my sister told me NOT to do.

That angry lady reminds me of the customer I had to deal with my first day. She was really upset with me because I gave her the wrong change, and had to make her wait (two customers later) to give her the right change. While she was glaring at me, I almost cried. Almost, but didn't, thank goodness. There were some nice people, though. A kind, white-haired old man asked if that day was my first, I said yes and apologized for the delay with his food. He said "It's alright, I have faith in you." That was probably the most kind thing that anyone at my job had ever said to me. What a shame that the man won't remember me, or that he touched my life, especially on my first day of work. This picture isn't him, it's just pretty close. Picture him with longer hair and a bigger face.

Today was my second day of work. I found out today that I forgot to sign out using our system when I left the previous day. Today was alright, wasn't great, but alright. When I went on break for the first time, I was so upset that I couldn't even call my boyfriend. I think it was a customer-related incident, but I can't remember now. All I remember was that I was so upset that I just sat and cried for 15 minutes. When I went back in, everything went much better. Then, when it was time for my lunch break, I called my oh-so-wonderful boyfriend and cried as I told him what happened. Customers were irritated with me because my cash register wouldn't open. Supervisors were irritated because I had to go bug them to help me with my register problems. I ate my lunch and cried, and stuffed chips into my mouth and cried some more. But of course, my boyfriend, mon cher, mon grand, the light of my life lifted my spirits. I blame myself a lot. He helped me realize that the register not opening is not my fault, and it's the supervisor's jobs to help me out. (That second part may have come from another associate.) In short, he is amazing. Without him to talk to I would have cried and ate my lunch feeling miserable, and then went back to work feeling miserable. His pep talk helped me go back to work energized and ready for more. The second part went so much better. Kind of slow, not many people want sushi after 5pm. So I closed up, counted out (which I HATE doing) and got ready to clean up. I felt good after counting out, though, I brought in $1,000 for the company! I contributed! Whoo-hoo!

that's my amazing support system. gotta love him <3

I love this.

College/Life :/

Soo college is not like high school. College is kinda scary. College is making me very concerned about my final grade in Astronomy. Basically I have 5 tests. First one doesn't count towards our grade. Second, third, and fourth count. But the nice part is that our lowest grade out of those three grades is dropped. after that, our final grade is based off of a final exam and the two highest grades we've received. It's a bit of a relief, but I'm now considering everything. And I mean everything, everything. One: College classes are extremely demanding. Although my first Français test wasn't that bad, it will most definitely get harder. Solar System Astronomy is, understandably, more demanding than French and will require pounding with a rock (to keep the information in my head). Two: I need money. Meaning I have to work. All praise be to Athena for creating California's Great America! But, there's always a complication. I cannot work Monday-Sunday unlimited as I previously told them. My last class (Astronomy) ends at 2:45, and with Public Trans, it'll take 2+ hours to get to Great America in time for a shift. Of course, I further complicated things today. I told my boss that I couldn't work until 3pm. As in three o'clock post meridian. (But wait Axanti, you just said that public transportation takes at least two hours!) "Exactly." Three: Family drama. Enough said. Four: Hmmm. Can you give me directions to my social life? It was just here a moment ago, can't seem to find it now... Five: My poor, poor, wonderful boyfriend. We have a hard time with our long distance relationship as it is, and now I'm busy from an ungodly 7:30am to whenever Great America schedules me. I can only hope that he will continue to support and love me as he has been thus far, and not become irritated in the time that we cannot text, call or Skype. Bless his heart for dealing with me for this long. Six: I just felt like typing a number six. As much as I bitch and complain, i have a very good life. I have two loving, supporting parents (who will be celebrating their 20th anniversary next year), my own room, technology at my disposal, a mother that works at Stanford University and a Father that works at Apple's corporate office. (I won't say too much or Apple might have me assassinated, they're very serious about keeping their information tight.) My life is... great. Sure, I picked six things to complain about, because complaining is what I do. I'm a complainer. I hate that about myself, I can't help it, I wish I could change it, but alas I cannot. I complain. I suppose that's it for today. I kinda want to add a picture so that I don't seem like.. I don't know, a pessimist? I'm really not. If you ask me about things that upset me storm clouds will move in and it will begin to rain. But my overall outlook on life is optimistic. I am excited about life, I am on the edge of my seat to see what will happen particularly in the next month and next few months of my life. I'm ready to be surprised. I'm ready to face the world and it's challenges with my support system being the wind on my back. I'm excited! I cannot wait. But.. I'm also apprehensive. Can you blame me?

so this makes my 30th post in my blog! I should be excited and junk, but there's no party! So I'll provide one.

Life is full of surprises.

We're on our way home and find out that on a vital street to get to our house, the traffic lights are out and traffic is being diverted elsewhere. We pulled over to an illegal parking space on a corner to wait it out. My parents came to the conclusion that we'd park the car somewhere and go back for it in the morning. Then something WONDERFUL happened. The button to shift from park to drive stopped working. After about 5 agonizingly long minutes, it magically started working. Oh, the beauty of driving an old, used car. As I type we are abandoning the car and walking to bonfare for a calming snack. Oh, life. How you surprise me.

Young people often ask the elderly what moments of their lives they would re-live. I don't have to be elderly to choose, without doubt, to re-live every fourth of July I've ever experienced. It's always magical an will no doubt be nostalgic tomorrow, and 50/60 tomorrows from now. If I had one wish, it'd be to spend every fourth of July from here on out with my best friend/support system/clown/geek/boyfriend.

Guess I should get back to studying french, shouldn't I?

Being 18 and having no job sucks ass. Classes at De Anza are so damn expensive and so are textbooks. Having no job, I have to pay for things with what I have. Which right now is $17. I feel so helpless..

My derp is showing

I was looking at this picture like wow, I didn't know Vera Wang was Asian! And then I said her name again. Vera WANG. Duh.

Q'est-ce que c'est?

C'est un étudiant? Mais non, c'est une étudiante. Can you tell I love my french class? I've only been in the class since Monday, and it's amazing. I've learned so much already! Bonjour, mademoiselle. Comment allez-vous? I can start a conversation, count to soixante (60), it's SO very exciting! I love french, and my teacher voiced why, unknowingly. Français flows. The language is structured so that one may speak it in a flow of a sentence instead of having to stop and pronounce every single word in sentence. That's what I love about it. The flow.

I picked pictures that either made me die of cuteness or salivate :D Here's one more.

Bus rides!

It's always nice to have someone to talk to on the bus. Sometimes you get that, if you're lucky. I did and was. I was drawing a lady who just would not sit still.... I was getting irritated with her face and started drawing her hair. Suddenly, a man I saw who had gotten on earlier with armfuls of bags asked what type of medium I use. That turned into so much artsy fartsy talk and, ultimately I made a friend! When I asked for his name to find him on Facebook, he just said "M-K." Mk it is.

We're friends now and both admire (perhaps are envious of) each other's art. Well, I know I'm envious of his. Those are some great things that happen on the bus. But of course, like today there is always an old Asian lady to grasps her purse tightly in case you try to steal it or a grown ass man that makes the whole bus smell like weed... Yeah, days like today aren't the best, but, I suppose.... Could be worse.

People are weird.

Why are people so afraid to sit next to others they don't know? The absolute worst someone can do is what? Fart, cough, sneeze, maybe ask you if they're in the correct place.

I got over my phobia of sitting next to people; since they're generally nice and at the least we end up giving each other polite smiles and/or remarks. I like sitting next to people, but I guess other people don't. Does that make me weird?

I love fountains. I love the opportunity to catch water mid-motion. So beautiful.

Crème brûlée has to be one of Athena and Zeus's finest creations. Crunchy and custard, sweet and tangy, this dessert is almost never made badly and almost always satisfying. Raise your hand if you love good food! (Oh, you can't see my raised hand)

Gotta love Sausalito. So beautiful, even though it was a rather misty day.